Ever feel trapped by rigid diet rules?

(I did - for years)

Maybe following them is the only way you know how to eat without gaining weight.

Plus, they simplify the weight loss process. The on/off limit strategy makes knowing what you should or shouldn’t be eating really easy (what’s more simple than ‘yes’ or ‘no’?).

But…maybe these rules also cause you to:

feel isolated from social events, or FOMO from making memories like taking your kids out for pizza, or enjoying cake and ice cream at their birthday
constantly think about or crave foods you love (i.e., your ‘off limit’ foods)
overeat often, and/or eat certain foods in secret
swing back and forth between focusing on weight loss or saying ‘f*** it’ and not being mindful of food choices at all, because they aren’t sustainable or compatible with real life circumstances

If you resonate with any of this (please, for the love of all things you enjoy), keep reading.

In this article we talk about:

Background: Why we get sucked into diet rules
How rigid rules actually prevent our success
- Approach vs Avoidance-focused goals
- Flexible vs Rigid eating styles
Tips on getting started with a flexible approach to eating

BACKGROUND: WHY WE GET SUCKED INTO DIET RULES

First let’s look at the two big reasons many people often adopt these rules in the first place, which include:

Weight loss
Improving health

(Disclaimer: I am not advocating that diet rules inherently improve our health. Rather, over the years I’ve worked with clients, this is one outcome that appears to sometimes be associated with certain diet rules - such as eating more veggies - and/or the weight loss itself)

Because eating for your goals can come off as pretty complex and confusing, especially with all the conflicting information there is online, social media, etc. having specific, easy to follow rules can (appear to) make the process of reaching these goals much simpler.

They:

Reduce overwhelm
Cut down on our cognitive load and the number of decisions we need to make each day
Appeal to all-or-nothing thinking by providing clear and simple instructions, as well as a ‘pass/fail’ guide to success
Provide an illusion of having a sense of control
Often lead to quicker results when compared to other strategies

So - first I want to validate that it makes sense you’d want to go this route.

Especially since many people lack the time or understanding of how to achieve weight loss and/or better health otherwise. You do the best you know how to, with what you have at the time.

HOW RIGID DIET RULES ACTUALLY PREVENT OUR SUCCESS

APPROACH VERSUS AVOIDANCE-BASED GOALS

There are two distinct types of goals that influence our motivation and behavior differently. Understanding the differences between them can help us set more effective and motivating objectives.

These two types of goals are:

Approach-focused goals
Avoidance-focused goals

Approach-focused goals:

These goals tells us exactly what we want to achieve or add to our life.

This can sound like:

“I’m going to eat 1 cup of vegetables with 2 meals/day.”
“I’m going to walk 2 miles, 3x/week.”

These types of goals:

Provide clarity, direction, and meaning - they make it clear what we ARE going to do (making it easy for us to simply execute with less thinking), and are valuable and helpful in getting us to the outcome we’re trying to achieve.
Can increase motivation and reduce stress - they’re often associated with more positive emotions like excitement.
May help you achieve more success - when set up in a positive way that supports healthy behavior change.

Avoidance-focused goals:

These are goals that focus on avoiding negative outcomes (such as increasing weight, or declining health).

They can sound like:

“I can’t eat [insert food: chips, cookies, pizza, bread, etc.] while I’m on my diet.”
“No more going out to eat.”

The problems with avoidance-focused goals are:

They lack clarity and direction - stating what you won’t do doesn’t specify what positive changes you should make instead. Without a clear alternative, it can be difficult to achieve meaningful behavior change, which may become another barrier to success (think back to why we’re drawn to rigid rules in the first place - our brains tend to prefer a clear, actionable outline).
They’re problem-focused (versus solution-focused) - this can make it more difficult to achieve helpful habits, decrease self-esteem & feelings of personal control, as well as lead to more negative feelings surrounding goals and competence with goal pursuits [1], [2].
They’re rigid - with no wiggle room for context, these goals lead to blanket statements and unnecessary restriction. This doesn’t teach us how to incorporate these foods into our daily lives post-diet in a way that balances them within an overall healthy intake.

Because avoidance-focused goals are often the type that come with diet rules, it makes sense why these often don’t benefit us in the long-haul.

That being said: While approach goals are generally more motivating and effective at assisting with goal achievement, there may be a time and place where incorporating both types of goals in our life makes sense. In different situations it may be helpful to temporarily take a step back from certain environments, food, people, etc. that can trigger habits we’re trying to change.

Summary:

Approach-focused goals tell us exactly what to do, and can often better help us achieve positive outcomes
Avoidance-focused goals are oriented toward preventing negative results, but are often less helpful for positive behavior change
Avoidance-focused goals are typically what come with strict diet rules (i.e., ‘these foods are off limits’) which doesn’t help us learn how to balance these foods post-diet
While it can be more beneficial to create goals surrounding what we do want to do or add to our routine, there can be a time and place for avoidance-based goals, such as when certain environments, food, people, etc. trigger unhelpful behaviors we’re trying to change

FLEXIBLE VERSUS RIGID EATING STYLES

Two approaches to monitoring food intake (i.e., controlling calories in some way, shape, or form) that we have some cool data on are referred to in the literature as ‘flexible restraint’ and ‘rigid restraint’.

Flexible restraint: involves a more balanced and adaptable approach to eating, where all foods can fit. This method allows for occasional indulgences and focuses on overall healthy eating patterns rather than strict rules. Adjustments can be made for things like social events or changes in routine (i.e., vacations, holidays) so you can continue to prioritize your nutrition in some way through different seasons of life.
Rigid restraint: involves oscillating between periods of strict, all-or-nothing rules about food intake, and eating all foods freely. This approach typically categorizes foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ (i.e., ‘I can eat this’, or ‘I can’t eat this’), and deviation from these rules can be seen as a failure, and is often followed by feelings of shame, guilt, or disappointment. This method is where we can get stuck in that yo-yo dieting cycle.

As you can probably tell by now, one of these approaches often leads to much better outcomes.

Flexible restraint:

Part of the reason I strongly advocate for flexible approaches to nutrition is because, based on my own experience and those of my clients, I’ve seen how this method can be such a huge game changer for a multitude of reasons.

But - evidence also supports it’s effectiveness.

Flexible eating styles are associated with:

MORE weight loss, and better weight-maintenance (i.e., better long-term success) - in other words, a more flexible approach to nutrition can not only help you lose more weight, but it can also equip you to maintain that weight loss/prevent re-gaining it (or more) [3]. One study found it to be one of the strongest predictors of weight loss (two others being reduced emotional eating, and increased eating self-efficacy - i.e., confidence in your ability to control eating behaviors and make healthy food choices, even in the face of challenges or tempting situations) [5]. The significant thing here is that weight loss itself isn’t always the biggest problem for people, it’s keeping the weight off that many find so challenging.
Reduced emotional eating and overeating - [4] [5] which makes sense when you consider that allowing for occasional indulgences can reduce feelings of deprivation, cravings, and preoccupation of food.
Lower BMI - [4] [5]

This is not only the approach that can actually get you to where you want to be (at least long-term), but it’s the one that’s allows you to maintain a higher quality of life.

It allows you make progress toward your weight loss goal AND take your kids out for pizza, or partake in social events without feeling like you’ve sabotaged your diets.

Rigid restraint:

This is also something many of my clients and I (unfortunately) have gained some experience with before finding a more flexible approach (and never looking back).

From these experiences I’ve noticed that rigid eating styles can initially be appealing for the same reason avoidance-based goals are: they provide clear rules that are easy to follow.

Foods are easily categorized as ‘yes’ or ‘no’, and the inflexibility or lack of adaptability means less mental effort required.

And how nice does this sound when you’re already required to do so much thinking and decision making in other areas of your life?

Despite this, the list of con’s are a lot longer, and not worth it in the long run.

Rigid eating styles are associated with:

LESS weight loss - (when compared to flexible restraint) [3].
Preoccupation on food and body shape - [3] when specific foods are completely ‘off limits’ it sort of puts them on a pedestal, and can increase the desirability of that food (aka make you want it a heck of a lot more than you may otherwise).
Higher likelihood of overeating - [4] again, makes sense. With strict eating rules we’re thinking about those ‘bad’ foods more often, and we likely feel more deprived.
Higher BMI - [4] [5]

Additionally, as if this weren’t enough con’s, anecdotally I’ve found this eating style can increase anxiety and stress, worsen relationships with food, reduce quality of life, and leave you spending more time and/or money searching for other solutions.

Summary:

Two approaches to eating include flexible restraint, and rigid restraint
Flexible restraint: allows for occasional indulgences and focuses on overall healthy eating patterns rather than strict rules. Associated with better weight loss and maintenance outcomes, reduced overeating, and more
Rigid restraint: involves oscillating between periods of strict, all-or-nothing rules about food intake, and eating all foods freely. Is associated with worse weight loss and maintenance outcomes, greater overeating, and more
It doesn’t have to be enjoy all foods OR lose weight. You can have both

TIPS ON GETTING STARTED WITH A FLEXIBLE APPROACH TO EATING

As with many things in nutrition and fitness, there’s more than one way to approach things, and the route you take should be individual to your specific goals, needs, preferences, and lifestyle.

That being said, below are a few solid tips that are a really great place to get you started:

1. Build a strong foundation with the 80/20 Guideline

The 80/20 guideline is a strategy where you aim to make nutrient dense food choices approximately 80% of the time, allowing for some flexibility or indulgence the remaining 20% or so of the time.

**The 80/20 Guideline**

~80% is filled with more nutrient dense foods
lean protein, veggies, fruit, beans/legumes, whole grains, and healthy fats
~20% can be filled with foods that may be less nutrient, but you’d still like to enjoy
chips, doughnuts, cookies, pizza, etc.

This approach focuses on the bigger picture (your overall intake) rather than specific foods or meals, encourages sustainable eating habits, and acknowledges that an overall healthy intake can include indulgences.

While rules surrounding our nutrition can be rigid and restricting, guidelines can simply give us some direction while still allowing for flexibility.

This is a strategy you can utilize whether you choose to track, not track, you’re in routine, out of routine (on vacation, traveling), or when life’s just more chaotic (you’re working more hours, just had a baby, moving, etc.).

It’s something you can often fall back on in more chaotic or stressful seasons of life, even when you have less control surrounding other variables.

Something that’s important to know is that these numbers (80 and 20) aren’t set in stone. These can be good proportions to aim for to support physical and mental health, as well as weight or body composition goals. But if you’re currently eating a much lower proportion of nutrient dense foods, simply trying to increase that over time, with a long-term goal of working up to something close to 80% is a great strategy. Meet yourself where you’re at!

Additionally, you don’t need to go insane trying to fill exactly 80% or 20% of your intake with these foods. Just try to do your best.

For my visual learners, here’s how I often like to set up my daily intake to abide by this guideline:

2. View food on a spectrum of nutrient density

(Instead of dichotomous categories like ‘good’ or ‘bad’)

The food spectrum is a concept that views food as more or less nutrient dense, and it allows us to make room for all foods while still prioritizing more nutrient dense ones.

**The food spectrum**

Foods more towards the right side are going to include more nutrients like fiber, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. These are the foods we can aim to fill roughly 80% of our intake with.
Foods closer to the left side are lower in nutrients, and these are what we could still make room for within ~20% of our intake.

Using this concept and labeling food as more or less nutrient dense can help us begin to shift away from the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ food mentality, which can be a huge win for reducing any guilt or shame tied to these foods.

3. Focus on what you want to add

Remember the approach-focused goals we talked about earlier? Where you create goals surrounding actions you want to take, or foods you want to incorporate more in your intake?

Try using more of those, rather than focusing on actions you want to do or foods you want to eat less often. Be as specific as you can, ask yourself, ‘How will I know if I achieved this goal?’

This is a more solution-focused approach which can be more supportive of helpful behavior change that leads to your goals. It also provides you with the clarity of telling you exactly what to do, leaving out much of the guesswork that can feel paralyzing in the moment.

Scroll up to the approach-focused goals section for a couple of examples.

4. Adjust, don’t abandon

One major red flag of rigid diet rules is that they lack the flexibility to accommodate the complexity and unpredictability of real life.

These strict rules leave little room for social events, traveling, holidays, or busy schedules, not to mention unexpected events that are a part of every life, like kids getting sick, health flare ups, moving, having a newborn, working late, or forgetting to take part of dinner out of the freezer that morning.

This is when we often swing to the other side of the yo-yo pattern and ditch our diet, because it’s either really inconvenient or impossible to stick to in our current circumstance.

But what if, instead of either being ‘off’ or ‘on’, you chose to adjust the dial by making changes that allowed you to stay aligned with your goals in a way that fits your current circumstances?

Small tweaks that allow to you maintain momentum, and get through the inevitable challenges that often tend to throw us off.

Here are some examples of what that could look like:

You’re going to a social gathering for dinner where you know there won’t be higher protein options, but you’re currently trying to eat high protein meals. To make your daily intake better suit your goal, you adjust your meals around the social gathering (breakfast and lunch) to include more protein and a bit less carbs and fat.
It’s summertime and you’re busier than ever. Both tracking your intake and Sunday meal prep have fallen to the backburner (two strategies you were using to stick to your calorie deficit). You pivot by falling back on the 80/20 guideline, where you prioritize high protein and fiber meals, while listening to your body’s hunger and fullness cues to monitor your calorie intake.
You’re going on vacation to a destination where the culture incorporates a high amount of fried foods with minimal veggies, but you currently have a goal of weight loss and are trying to prioritize veggies while minimizing less nutrient dense foods. While you may not have as much control over what you eat, you choose to focus on portion sizes to control how much you’re eating.

Summary:

4 tips to get you started on creating a more flexible approach to eating:

Build a strong foundation with the 80/20 Guideline: fill 80% of your intake with nutrient dense foods, and the remaining ~20% with other foods you love and still want to enjoy. This approach focuses on the bigger picture (your overall intake) rather than specific foods or meals, encourages sustainable eating habits, and acknowledges that an overall healthy intake can include indulgences.
View food on a spectrum of nutrient density: where you view food as more or less nutrient dense, rather than ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Focus on what you want to add: create goals surrounding actions you want to take, or foods you want to incorporate more in your intake (versus goals stating what you will do or eat less often). These are more conducive to positive behavior change that supports your goals, and gives you direction so you know exactly what to do, among other things.
Adjust, don’t abandon: life isn’t always going to cater to our goals, and we should have the flexibility to go on vacation or out to eat without feeling like we need to ditch our nutrition goals, or that we’ve failed if we do take part in these experiences. Instead of either being ‘off’ or ‘on’, we can choose to adjust the dial, making changes that allow us to stay consistent with goals in a way that fits our current circumstances.

If you’re looking for more guidance and support with saying goodbye to diet rules for good, I offer 1-on-1, personalized nutrition coaching where we can work together to help you accomplish this.

I also offer remote programming to help you reach your health and body composition goals.

Click here to read more about all of my coaching options, or to apply for them, and I’ll reach ASAP! (Applying does not commit you to anything).